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If I hear any more stories about friends who got pregnant after trying for five years, or if I get an email with another article on the latest herbal treatment to increase fertility, I will lose my mind,” said Linda Rice, a certified nurse and midwife from Massachusetts, who had fertility problems for three years before she gave birth to her son.
Does this sound familiar? You’ve likely received a lot of advice from others on how to get pregnant if you have experienced infertility.
You are not alone. Infertility can be quite common. In the United States, about 1 out of 8 couples have difficulty getting pregnant. But the advice that they receive is not only wrong, but also unhelpful.
We asked experts to debunk these myths regarding infertility.
1: Relaxation is all you need
Infertility, while it is true that stress can cause infertility, is not a purely psychological problem.
Infertility is still not seen as a serious medical problem by most people. Rice says she has never heard anyone say, “Just relax, and your arthritis will disappear.”
Infertility can be a medical condition. Positive thinking, a relaxing vacation, or changing your mindset will not fix your physical and reproductive health.
2: You must try harder or more
This myth focuses on what happens in bed, but fertility is much more than that. It can be demoralizing to tell couples they need to work harder.
Fertility is one of those things that we can’t change.
Around 50 percent of couples who receive infertility treatments will be able to conceive, but certain infertility issues respond with a low success rate, says Dr. Suheil Muzasher, an infertility expert in Durham, North Carolina.
This myth can be particularly disheartening to couples who may feel they are giving up when they cannot handle the financial, physical or psychological burden of continuing fertility treatments.
Success doesn’t always come from effort. Couples shouldn’t feel that they aren’t doing their best.
3: Fertility issues are a woman’s problem
The focus of most pregnancy discussions is on women, but it’s not just one person who makes a baby. Men and women are equally affected by infertility.
Each sex may have its own set of signs that could indicate infertility . For example, testicle pain and changes in the flow of your period are both signs.
4: Age affects men’s fertility but not women’s
Although women experience a decrease in fertility as they age, this is not the only group that experiences fertility changes.
According to Dr. Mark Surrey of Southern California Reproductive Center, women experience a significant drop in fertility between the ages 32 and 37. This can be as high as 50%.
Infertility rates for men also increase with age, according to Dr. Thomas Price. He is an infertility expert at Duke Fertility Center. After the age of forty, men are likely to experience a decrease in semen motility and volume.
5: If you have a child already, infertility is not a problem
It is possible for a couple to have difficulty getting pregnant even if they already have a child. This is known as secondary fertility.
People think you can have more than one child if you already have one. “They apply your fertility to your entire pregnancy, and I learned very quickly that this is totally variable,” said Danica Medeiros who experienced secondary infertility.
Medeiros had her first child at the age of 27. “My husband, and I, had no problem at all having our first baby,” she says. We thought that if we ever wanted to have a second baby, it would be easy.
She found it difficult to get pregnant when she wanted to extend her family two years later. After five years of trying to get pregnant, she finally turned to IVF to give birth to her second daughter. Unplanned pregnancy brought a third baby to the family a year later.
6: Your health doesn’t impact fertility
Health is a major factor in determining fertility, both for men and women.
Healthline quotes Dr. Diana Ramos from California as saying, “If we live a healthier lifestyle, this will help us address infertility problems.” You have to listen to your body and live a healthy lifestyle before even thinking about getting pregnant.
7: All fertility journeys look the same
Personal choices vary from couple to couple when it comes to family planning and infertility. Each path is unique, and every choice made by a couple is valid.
J.F. says, “I was looking for a new purpose to my life because I thought I would never have a child.” Garrard had a baby surprise after five years of intensive fertility treatments. “I didn’t wish to be defined by my inability to have children.”
“I am open to the possibility that my family could be created in a manner I didn’t expect,” says Andrea Syrtash who has been dealing with infertility issues since 2012. “Let’s be honest, I am already at a place I never imagined I would reach.”
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